For a moment between the leaks and rumors, when I was actually able to consider it all — I thought about saving up and buying an Apple AAPL +0.37% iPhone 8. The Apple iPhone 8 could finally be the iPhone that looks less like an iPhone and more like a Samsung. The Samsung Galaxy Note 8 screen leaks are pretty close in size and OLED greatness as the iPhone 8 screen leaks. My point is, that even with a insanely high price point and an inter-dimensional quandary, the iPhone 8 could be worth it.
Then again, it might not. $1200 for a cell phone? That’s a little wild. I literally just bought a 1998 Subaru Legacy for $1200. Of course, the price point is not only what the market will bear, but come the September keynote, something that tech journalists and fans will be cheering. Even with production delays, the iPhone 8 is still expected to be released at the same time as the iPhone 7S and iPhone 7S Plus.
Also see: Apple Finally Invents Instagram, Revolutionizing Your iPhone Photos
Gordon Kelly, who writes most of the iPhone leak articleshere at Forbes, suggests auctioning the iPhone 8 if you are able to get one before Christmas. He says this is the sensible option. While I’ve done that type of thing before (with a pair of Yeezy Boosts), perhaps you are just better off spending your $1200 on something else. Though, you’d still want something Apple related right? Well, here are eight Apple products well under $1200 you might want to buy instead of an iPhone 8:
- Apple Newton MessagePad 2000. You can get one on eBay for under $200 in working order. Stylus pens are making a comeback, so why not be a total tech hipster and attend your morning stand-up meetings with this retro device in hand?
- Apple Bandai Pippin. One of the worst video game systems of all time was limited to under 42,000 units actually released before it royally failed. Still cheaper than many modern cell phones. Plus you know you have a hankering to play Gus Goes to the Kooky Carnival in search of Rant.
- Apple MacBook Air. Sure, we like our computing power in our pockets, but you can get two refurbished MacBook Air laptops for the price of one iPhone 8. Totally worth it and perfect for back to school.
- A bag full of iPod Shuffles. Recently discontinued, now is the time to stock up on used iPod Shuffles. You can probably get about 40 4th generation iPod Shuffles for the cost of one iPhone 8. This was a great little device, I still have two. One of my favorite Apple products ever.
- Macintosh Portable. I figure if typewriters are making a comeback, it’s only a matter of time before people start lugging around 16 pounds of 1 MB SRAM.
- An Apple Watch. Just kidding. Apple Watches are terrible devices. Buy a Swatch instead.
- Apple iPod Touch. Oddly enough, even with phones on the market with more storage than a base model iPod Touch, Apple still makes this. It’s not like you use your phone for actual phone calls anymore. If you hate your data plan and use WiFi like a boss, save some coin and get an iPod Touch for a fraction of the cost.
- Around 3600 actual apples. It’s August, which means apple season is starting. Let’s say at 99 cents a pound, about three apples to a pound, you can get more than 3600 hundred apples for the price of an iPhone 8. That is some quality fiber and vitamin C right there.
Before you start taking out my knee-caps in the comments, I agree, this is total fluff. I just told myself at the start of the week that I needed to write some sort of silly tech listicle. I understand that I am no better today than the junk advertorial articles you see grouped together at the bottom of a Huffpo article.
Disclaimer aside, we are an always connected culture, consuming content in pace with our breathing. The Apple iPhone 8 will be another consumption device, programmed to be beautiful and wallet draining. It’s luxurious and smooth. So consider this instead — you can buy some nostalgia, or fruit.
Or you could just buy an iPhone 7S or iPhone 7S Plus. These will most likely be cheaper phones with a more traditional Apple iPhone design. There is a bit of wariness when considering the total sea change in design elements of the iPhone 8. I think I’ll stick to drawing on my MessagePad 2000.